Help with drinking
Need Help With a Drinking Problem?
If you are honestly asking yourself that question, you are not alone.
If drinking is causing problems and you want help, you can go to a meeting in Dumaguete.
You don’t need to register. You don’t need to explain yourself. You don’t need to know anyone. You can come to a meeting, sit down, and listen.
You don’t have to pay to attend or become a member. If you want to stop drinking, you can come.
Current information
Start With the Current Meetings in Dumaguete
Meeting days, times, and locations can change. Check the current information before you leave so you know when the meeting starts and where to go.
If you’re not sure
What If I’m Not Sure I Have a Drinking Problem?
You don’t need to be sure before attending a meeting.
You don’t have to confess anything. You don’t have to explain what happened, promise that you’ll never drink again, or solve anything before you walk in.
You don’t have to decide today whether you have a drinking problem. You don’t need any special knowledge to know whether a meeting is right for you.
You can attend one meeting and listen. Nothing more is expected of you.
If something you hear sounds familiar, that is enough.
What you may already know
Reasons That May Have Brought You Here
Drinking may no longer be something you plan. It has become part of how the day works.
You wake up and check your phone. You try to remember what you said, where you went, how you got home, or why someone is angry.
You apologize. You explain. You hide things. You call in sick. You promise yourself that it won’t happen again, and then it does.
The people around you ask questions you don’t want to answer. They watch how much you drink. They bring up things you would rather leave in the past.
You don’t have to explain any of this before you go.
You can start by attending a meeting and listening.
What help looks like
What Happens If I Go to One Meeting?
You walk in. You find a seat. The meeting starts. People talk about drinking, sobriety, and what helped them stay sober. You listen.
That is enough for a first meeting.
You don’t have to tell your story. You don’t have to speak. You don’t have to explain how much you drink. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.
- You can attend and listen.
- You don’t have to speak.
- You don’t have to pay to become a member.
- You don’t have to explain what happened.
- You can leave quietly if you want to.
- You can try another meeting if the first one doesn’t feel right.
Walking in, taking a seat, and listening is a good first meeting.
Getting there
Getting to a Meeting in Dumaguete
Meetings around Dumaguete are usually small. You’re finding the venue, locating the table or meeting area, sitting down, and listening.
Downtown Dumaguete, Valencia, and Dauin are three different trips. Bethel Guest House is on Rizal Boulevard in downtown Dumaguete. The Valencia meeting is in a walk-in ground-floor restaurant. The Dauin meeting is held on the beach, so think about your transportation both ways.
Check the current meetings in Dumaguete page before you leave. Meeting times, venues, and local directions can change.
One meeting
Can I Just Check It Out?
Yes.
If drinking is causing problems and you want help, you can attend a meeting and listen. Walking through the door doesn’t commit you to anything.
You don’t have to know whether the meeting is right for you before you arrive.
If the first meeting doesn’t feel right, try another. Meetings can feel different from one another, and another may be easier to sit in.
Language
What If My English Isn’t Very Good?
You don’t need perfect English to attend a meeting in Dumaguete.
English is a second language for many people here. You may speak very little, introduce yourself only, or not speak at all during your first visit.
Your first meeting is not a language test. Nobody is grading your English.
If speaking worries you, listen.
Speaking
Do I Have to Speak in English?
No.
If you’re asked to share and you don’t want to, you can say, “I’ll just listen today.” That is enough.
If you do speak, use the words you have. You don’t need formal English. You don’t need the right AA words. You don’t need to sound like anyone else in the room.
The important thing is that you found the meeting.
Leaving
What If I Want to Leave Early?
You don’t have to explain yourself.
If you want to leave early, get up quietly and go. If you want to leave as soon as the meeting ends, that is fine too.
People handle first meetings differently. Some stay and talk afterward. Some leave right away. Nobody is keeping score.
Your first meeting doesn’t have to be perfect. You came in, took a seat, and listened.
What you may hear
Do I Have to Be Religious?
No.
A meeting may begin with the Serenity Prayer or a moment of silence. You may hear people talk about God, a Higher Power, willingness, prayer, or letting go.
You don’t have to agree with every word. You don’t have to decide what any of it means to you before your first meeting.
No one expects you to have that worked out after one meeting, or even after several meetings.
For your first meeting, sit down and listen. That is enough.
One thing you can do
How Can I Start Today?
You can start with one meeting. Check the time, venue, and map before you leave.
You may still want to know what the meeting will look like, what will happen when you arrive, or whether you can go when you’re not sure about anything yet.
Nobody has to know
You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation
You don’t have to tell your family, your employer, your friends, or anyone else that you’re going to a meeting.
You don’t have to explain why you’re there. You don’t have to tell your story. You don’t have to speak.
You can walk in, find a seat, and listen.
If being seen or talked about is what is stopping you, read Are AA Meetings in Dumaguete Anonymous?
Someone you care about
What If You’re Worried About Someone Else?
You may be looking for the right words, the right information, or a way to begin the conversation without starting another argument.
You can find the meetings. You can learn what happens when someone reaches out. You can offer to go with them, sit beside them, and listen with them.
What you can’t do is want it for them. Information, promises, arguments, and concern from the people who love them may not be enough. The person drinking has to reach the point where they want to stop and are willing to ask for help.
That may not be the answer you hoped for. It doesn’t mean there is nothing you can do. You can understand what help looks like, know where the meetings are, and be ready when they are willing to go.
If you drank today
What If I Drank Today?
Come as you are.
You don’t have to dress it up. You don’t have to pretend it was something else. You don’t have to promise that tomorrow will be different.
You may be used to going to work, church, dinner, or family events after drinking. You may know how to watch your breath, regulate your behavior, and keep another drink out of sight.
You would not be the first person to arrive at a meeting after drinking. The people in the room will understand.
Come in quietly.
Find a seat.
Listen.
You don’t have to explain anything.
The important thing is that you went to a meeting.
You may still be wondering
Questions That May Still Matter
Can I ask about meetings before I talk to them?
Yes. You can find out when the meetings are, where they are held, and what happens when someone attends for the first time.
Can I attend a meeting without them?
Yes. The meetings listed on this website are open. You can attend, sit down, and listen so you understand what the meeting is actually like.
What if they ask me to go with them?
Go with them. You can sit beside them and listen. Neither of you has to speak.
What if they agree to go and then change their mind?
Don’t turn it into another argument. Keep the meeting time and location available. If they ask again, help them get there.
What if they tell me to stop talking about it?
Stop the argument. You can leave the information with them, but the next move has to be theirs.
What if they want help but don’t want the family involved?
They can make contact or attend a meeting on their own. They don’t have to report back, explain what was said, or involve anyone else.
One last thought
You Already Know Something Is Wrong
If you’re honestly asking yourself whether you need help with drinking, you already know the answer.
You know what happened.
You know what keeps happening.
You don’t have to explain it here.
You don’t have to make a promise.
You don’t have to decide what the rest of your life will look like.
No one in that room will be shocked by what brought you there.
They understand the fear.
They understand the loneliness.
They understand what it is like to do things while drinking that are difficult to remember, explain, or forgive.
You are not walking into a room of people waiting for an explanation.
They are waiting for you to understand that you are not alone.
Find the meeting.
Find the table.
Find an open chair.
Sit down.
Just listen.
That is a good first meeting.