Your first meeting
What Should I Expect When I Walk Through the Door?
You will probably be disappointed by how normal it is.
Nobody stands up and points at you. Nobody asks you to tell your life story. Nobody asks you to prove you belong there.
You walk in. You find a seat. The meeting starts. Most Dumaguete AA meetings are small meetings around a table or group of tables, not large rooms with rows of chairs.
The hardest part of your first meeting is usually not the meeting. It’s getting yourself through the door.
Current local meetings
Start Here: Current Dumaguete AA Meetings
Meeting schedules can change. Before you go, check the current Dumaguete AA meetings page.
Who may be reading
Who This Page Is For
- Someone thinking about going to a first AA meeting in Dumaguete.
- Someone who wants to know what the room actually looks like before walking in.
- Someone who is nervous about being noticed, questioned, or expected to speak.
- Someone who already knows something is wrong with their drinking but is not sure what happens next.
The question underneath
If You Are Asking This Question
If you are asking what happens when you walk through the door, you may already know something is wrong.
You may not be ready to call yourself alcoholic. You may not be ready to stop drinking forever. You may only be tired of making promises, hiding the problem, waking up anxious, or trying to manage drinking with new rules.
That is enough reason to try a meeting.
The first goal is simple: spend a little time in a place where nobody is drinking.
Dumaguete
What You Will See in Dumaguete
The Dumaguete meeting is at Bethel Guest House, downtown on Rizal Boulevard.
The ground-floor entrance faces the boulevard. Walk up the steps and Cafe Filomena is on your right. You can buy breakfast, coffee, or other food there before the meeting. There is also a free water dispenser, and you can take water upstairs with you.
The elevator and stairs are in the corner of the lobby. Take the elevator to the 5th floor. You can walk up the stairs, but you might as well use the elevator.
The elevator opens onto the 5th-floor common area. A large glass door separates the common area from the balcony, and the wall facing the balcony is glass.
Walk through the glass door and you are on the covered 5th-floor balcony overlooking Rizal Boulevard and the sea. That is where the meeting is held.
The balcony is covered and breezy. A few tables are pushed together, with plastic chairs around them. You can smoke on the balcony, and you can bring coffee or water up from Cafe Filomena.
Find an open seat at the table. People will usually be talking before the meeting starts.
Valencia
What You Will See at Valencia
The Valencia meeting is at Red Flower Restaurant.
Red Flower is a ground-floor restaurant with parking directly in front. The large entrance is open to the parking area and the street, so you can see the room before you walk in.
It is bright, sunny, family-friendly, and easy to enter and leave. The room has a relaxed diner-like feeling, with regular restaurant tables, simple chairs, and a tile floor.
If you arrive early, you can get coffee or breakfast. The menu includes American breakfast and familiar Filipino food, but this is still an ordinary local restaurant where people are eating and talking as others begin to arrive for the meeting.
Walk in from the street or parking area, find an open seat at the table, and the meeting starts.
Dauin
What You Will See in Dauin
The Dauin meeting is at Uzi Beach Resort. It is literally on the beach.
This is a local, family-friendly beach setting with plenty of shade. Covered tables sit among bamboo and rattan, with plastic tables and chairs set directly on the sand.
The beach slopes gently into calm water. Go early and swim before the meeting, or stay afterward and swim.
Bring food and drinks with you, or order something for delivery. Grab and Foodpanda deliver to the resort. People also bring barbecue with them.
Find an open seat around the table. You are sitting under the shade, on the sand, with the water only a few steps away.
Lipayo, Dauin
What to Know About the Meeting in Lipayo
The Last Resort meeting is in Lipayo, Poblacion III, Dauin. It starts at 10:00 AM and is open to newcomers.
The local direction people consistently give is that the meeting is across from Sierra Resort. That is the clearest landmark to use when finding the area or asking for directions in Lipayo.
A firsthand description of the venue, entrance, seating, and atmosphere is not yet available.
At this time, the confirmed local information is straightforward: the meeting is in Lipayo, across from Sierra Resort, it starts at 10:00 AM, and newcomers are welcome.
Before the meeting starts
What People Are Doing When You Arrive
People are usually doing ordinary things.
- Talking before the meeting starts.
- Getting coffee or water.
- Moving chairs.
- Sitting around the table.
- Saying hello to people they know.
- Waiting for the meeting to begin.
Most people are not studying you. Most people are thinking about their own day, their own recovery, or whether the meeting is about to start.
If someone says hello, you can say hello. If nobody says much at first, sit down anyway.
Arriving early
What If You’re Early?
That gives you time to find the place, look around, and choose a seat before the meeting starts.
At Bethel Guest House, you can get coffee, breakfast, or free water at Cafe Filomena before taking the elevator to the 5th-floor balcony.
At Red Flower Restaurant in Valencia, you can get breakfast or coffee and sit inside while people begin to arrive.
At Uzi Beach Resort in Dauin, come early enough to spend some time on the beach or swim before the meeting.
For the Last Resort meeting in Lipayo, use Sierra Resort as the landmark and give yourself a little extra time to find the venue across from it.
If you’re nervous, those few minutes can help. Find the place, stay nearby, and walk in when you’re ready.
Arriving late
What If You’re Late?
Walk in quietly and find a seat.
That’s all. People arrive late sometimes. It happens.
You don’t need to announce why you’re late. You don’t need to apologize to the room. Just sit down and listen.
Going in without knowing anyone
What If You Don’t Know Anyone?
You probably won’t know anyone at your first meeting.
Everyone in the room had a first meeting. Everyone once walked in without knowing exactly what would happen.
You can bring someone with you if the meeting is open and having company makes it easier to walk in.
Read more: Can I bring someone with me to a meeting in Dumaguete?
You don’t have to speak
What If You Don’t Know What to Say?
Then don’t say anything.
You can listen. Plenty of people say little or nothing at their first meeting.
You don’t have to tell your story. You don’t have to explain your drinking. You don’t have to decide what you are before the meeting starts.
Read more: Do you have to speak at your first meeting in Dumaguete?
Leaving early
What If You Want to Leave?
You can leave whenever you want.
Nobody will stop you or follow you, and you don’t have to explain.
At Bethel Guest House, get up quietly, go back through the glass door, and take the elevator or stairs down to the lobby.
At Red Flower Restaurant in Valencia, the large open entrance leads straight to the parking area and the street.
At Uzi Beach Resort in Dauin, walk away from the table along the beach or head back toward the parking area behind the cottages.
Leaving one meeting early doesn’t decide anything. You can try another meeting or come back another day.
One meeting isn’t every meeting
What If You Don’t Like the First Meeting?
Try another one.
Maybe the Tuesday crowd wasn’t for you. Maybe Friday suits you better. Maybe Bethel feels too downtown. Maybe Red Flower in Valencia feels easier. Maybe the beach setting at Uzi Beach Resort in Dauin gives you more breathing room.
One meeting isn’t the whole of AA. If you’re ready for help, try another room before deciding AA isn’t for you.
One thing you can do
What Can I Do Today?
You can go to one meeting.
You don’t have to decide what comes next. You don’t have to speak or explain why you’re there.
Bring someone with you if that makes it easier to get there.
Find the meeting, find an open seat at the table, and listen.
That’s enough. You made it to your first meeting.
One last thing before you go
You Don’t Have to Decide Anything Today
When you walk through the door, you don’t have to arrive with an answer.
You don’t have to know what to call your drinking. You don’t have to know whether you belong there. You don’t have to work out what happens next.
Find the meeting. Find the table. Take an open seat and listen.
You can bring your questions with you. Nothing has to be solved at your first meeting.
No one’s expecting anything from you. Being there and listening is enough.