What Happens When You Contact AA in Dumaguete for the First Time?

The first contact number

The Designated First Contact Number

The number listed on the homepage is the designated first contact number for AA in Dumaguete.

It’s there if you’re looking for a meeting, have questions about going for the first time, or want to talk with someone who has been sober for a while.

DumagueteAA.org publishes local meeting information and newcomer guidance. It doesn’t answer or operate the number.

The meaning of first contact

What First Contact Means

First contact is the moment you stop thinking about asking for help and finally reach out.

Some people reach out because they want meeting information. Some are nervous about attending alone. Some just want to talk to someone who might understand what they’re going through before deciding what to do next.

Some people have been looking at the number for days.

Some have promised themselves they would stop tomorrow too many times.

Some wake up with regret and fear and finally decide to ask one question.

First contact doesn’t have to be dramatic.

You can start with one question.

Before the call

The Call Often Starts Before the Call

A lot of people don’t call the first time they see the number.

They save it. They look at it. They type it into the phone. They erase it. They wait until tomorrow. They wait until after one more promise to stop. They wait until the next morning, when the regret is heavy again.

That’s part of first contact too.

You may be asking yourself whether you’re an alcoholic, whether you’re bad enough, whether this is for you, whether someone will judge you, whether you’ll have to explain everything, or whether calling means you’ve admitted something you can’t take back.

You don’t have to settle any of that before you call.

You can still reach out while you’re unsure.

Who answers

Who Answers the First Contact Number?

A sober member answers the designated first contact number for AA in Dumaguete.

The person answering knows the current local meetings and can help with meeting times, locations, and the questions people often have before going for the first time.

If you need help finding a meeting, ask.

If you want to talk about your drinking, say that.

If you’re nervous about attending alone, say that too.

Your call may not be answered immediately. Try again. Send a message. Check the current meeting page.

First contact is one person with experience helping another person figure out the next step.

What to say

What Do I Say When I Contact AA?

You don’t need to sound organized.

You can start with one sentence.

• “I’m looking for a meeting.”
• “I think I have a drinking problem.”
• “I need help.”
• “I found this number online.”
• “I’m nervous about going to my first meeting.”
• “Can I ask a question?”
• “I don’t know what to do next.”

That is enough.

The person answering doesn’t need you to have everything figured out. You may not be having a good day. Say what you can. The rest can come later.

Finding a meeting

What If I’m Looking for a Meeting?

Say that.

The person answering can help with current meeting days, times, and locations. The meetings listed here currently start at 10:00 AM, but schedules can change, so it’s better to check before you go.

If you’re staying near Rizal Boulevard, Valencia, Dauin, Bacong, Sibulan, or outside Dumaguete City, say where you are. Bethel meets on the fifth-floor balcony overlooking the ocean. Valencia meets around a restaurant table. Dauin meets on the beach.

Knowing what the place looks like can make the first trip feel more familiar.

No meeting today

What If There Is No Meeting Today?

Reach out anyway.

Dumaguete doesn’t currently have a meeting every day of the week. That doesn’t mean you have to wait alone until the next one.

If you reach out on a day when there isn’t a meeting, the person answering can still tell you when and where the next one is. If you need to talk to someone who’s sober, say that.

Sometimes the first useful thing is not getting to a meeting in the next ten minutes.

Sometimes the first useful thing is making contact and not being alone with the drinking for one more day.

Someone to talk to

What If I Just Need to Talk to Someone?

Say that.

Some people reach out because they need directions.

Some people reach out because they need someone who understands and will listen while they talk about what’s been happening.

You might not know what to call it. You might not know whether a meeting is for you. You might not know whether you can stop. You might only know that drinking is causing problems and you don’t want to keep doing this alone.

That is enough reason to reach out.

You don’t need to dress it up.

Attending alone

What If I Am Nervous About Attending Alone?

Say that.

You may be worried about walking in alone, finding the venue, not knowing anyone, or simply showing up for the first time.

The person answering can explain where to go, help you find the venue, or talk with you before the meeting.

If meeting first would help, two members may be able to come together and meet you where you are before the meeting.

Getting to a meeting

What If I Can’t Get to a Meeting Today?

Say that too.

Maybe there is no meeting today. Maybe transportation is the problem. Maybe you’re not near Dauin, Valencia, Bacong, Sibulan, or Dumaguete City. Maybe you’re too nervous. Maybe you’re not ready to walk into a meeting yet.

Contact can still help.

The person answering can help you understand the next available meeting and talk with you about the next practical step.

The next practical step may be smaller than you think.

Call. Ask. Listen.

If the call is not answered

What If Nobody Answers Immediately?

Your call or message may not be answered right away.

The number is answered by a real person, not a call center.

Reaching out may have taken more courage than anyone will ever know. If nobody answers, you still reached out.

Call again later. Send a message. Check the current meeting page.

One unanswered call doesn’t have to be the reason you drink today.

Name and privacy

Do I Have to Give My Full Name?

No.

You can use your first name, or any name you’re comfortable using.

You don’t have to give your full story. You don’t have to give your address, say where you work, explain your family history, or confess anything.

AA is anonymous. You’re talking to a real person. There isn’t any paperwork to fill out.

You don’t have to hand over your entire life just to make a call or send a message.

Before you decide

Will Someone Pressure Me to Join AA?

No.

Making a call, sending a message, or going to a meeting doesn’t sign you up for anything.

You can ask questions. You can talk with someone who knows what it’s like to need help with drinking. You can go to a meeting and listen.

You can decide what to do after that.

Family and friends

Can a Family Member or Friend Contact AA?

Yes.

A family member or friend can ask for general information. They can ask where the meetings are, share the first contact number, or offer to attend with someone who’s nervous.

All the meetings currently listed in the Dumaguete area are open meetings. A spouse, family member, or supportive friend can attend with the person if they want company.

Nobody can make another person want sobriety.

Not a spouse. Not a parent. Not a child. Not a friend. Not even AA. Not even the person answering the phone.

People can answer questions. People can give meeting information. People can share what worked for them. People can sit with someone at an open meeting.

A family member or friend can still call for general information, even if the person they’re worried about hasn’t asked them to.

Wanting to stop

Can Someone Help Me Want to Stop Drinking?

No.

That may not be the answer you wanted.

People can answer questions. People can tell you where the meeting is. People can talk with you. People can share what worked for them. People can sit with you in a meeting while you listen.

They can help you stop.

They can’t make you want to stop.

You don’t have to make a promise about the rest of your life. You don’t have to explain everything. You may only know that you don’t want to keep going the way you’ve been going.

That is enough to reach out.

Visitors and travelers

Can Visitors and Travelers Contact AA in Dumaguete?

Yes.

Visitors, travelers, retirees, foreign residents, students, and people passing through Dumaguete can contact AA for meeting information.

If you are visiting from another country or another AA area, say that. The person answering can help you find a current local meeting and understand which location makes sense from where you are staying.

Dumaguete meetings are small. Bethel meets on the fifth-floor balcony overlooking the ocean. Valencia meets around a restaurant table. Dauin meets on the beach. Knowing where you are going beforehand helps.

An ordinary beginning

Does First Contact Have to Be Dramatic?

No.

It doesn’t have to look like the version you see on television. You don’t have to pull a crumpled number from your pocket, make one desperate call, and wait for someone to come and rescue you.

It can be a call. It can be a message. It can be one question.

It can be ordinary.

And ordinary may be exactly what you want.

After you reach out

What Can First Contact Do?

It can help with the question in front of you.

• It can tell you where the next meeting is.
• It can tell you what time the meeting starts.
• It can help you find the venue.
• It can put you in touch with someone who’s sober.
• It can answer a question you’ve been carrying around for days.
• It can make your first meeting feel more familiar.
• It can mean you don’t have to keep carrying the question alone.

It may not answer everything.

Knowing where the next meeting is may be enough for today.

One thing you can do

What Can I Do Today?

You can call or send a message.

You can ask where the next meeting is.

If you’re nervous, say you’re nervous.

If you don’t know what to say, say that.

If you’re not ready to go to a meeting, say that too.

One call or one message is enough for today.

Questions that may come next

Related Dumaguete AA Resources

• Current meetings in Dumaguete
• What happens when you walk through the door to your first meeting?
• Can I bring someone with me to a meeting in Dumaguete?
• Do you have to speak at your first meeting in Dumaguete?
• Can I attend a meeting if I’m not sure I’m an alcoholic?
• What if I feel out of place at my first meeting?
• What if everyone already knows each other at the meeting?
• What do meetings in Dumaguete look like compared with meetings on TV?

Before you go

One Last Thought Before You Go

There is no perfect time.

There is no perfect thing to say.

You don’t need to have your story organized.

You don’t even need a story.

You don’t need to know whether this will work.

You don’t need to decide what comes after.

All you need to do today is make contact.

Call or send a message.